Hi everyone, how’s it going for you all? Hopefully exciting! I’m here to tell you quite amicably that you can be a part of the first ever Rammfan518 giveaway! That’s right, friends, after some seven years of blogging, Rammfan518 will finally do its first giveaway because that’s what blogs are supposed do to?
But while other blogs are giving away new things, rare things, or fancy, home-made products, I will be giving out not only historical artifacts, but also something that can improve your personal health! So, without further ado, I present the prizes for the very first ever Rammfan518 giveaway: A VHS of Sweatin’ to the Oldies and UNOPENED VHS copies of its two sequels, Sweatin’ to the Oldies 2 and Sweatin’ to the Oldies 3! That’s right, folks, the first three videos in Richard Simmons’ epic series!
What’s that? There’s new, more current workout videos? P90x? What is that? It sounds like a robot. Work out with the original robot, Richard Simmons (this is why he never ages), in these three amazing workout videos! What’s that? Insanity workout? Why not go insane sweatin’ to “Locomotion” instead? (locomotion. . .get it?. . .locomotion). Can’t afford the $25-50 an hour (holy shit) to get a personal trainer to yell at you to move your body? Richard and his outdated tunes can do that for ya!
Those beefy folks in the new videos might not be messing around, but neither is Richard, with copy that starts off “Look let’s be honest” and “Let’s face it. . .”. Really people, Richard is getting serious about your fitness.
According to the text on the back of the Part III, he has “just one question to ask. Do you wanna dance…wanna sweat…wanna turn your body into a fat burning machine.” That’s right! He’s movin’ his arms too much to type correctly and add question marks at the end of questions, even though he just said he had a question for us! I’m also not quite sure if he meant to turn people into “fat-burning” machines, or indeed fat, burning machines, in which case you apparently won’t lose any weight and catch fire during the video (Rammfan518 is not responsible for any injuries sustained by spontaneous combustion).
This contest will run from today, September 24 to October 1!
This contest is open to folks only in the United States of ‘Murica because international shipping prices are like redonkulous. Folks on the west coast encouraged. Folks near Los Angeles encouraged more. (Folks who live down the street from me encouraged even more.)
The winner will be announced within 24 hours after the thing ends (unless I am abducted by aliens by then and can’t log into Rafflecopter to pick a winner). If you don’t claim that shit in 24 hours, then TOUGH LUCK, it’s no “taking your heart on a roller coaster ride and your hips through the tunnel of love” for you. I’ll pick some other lucky winner to experience a trip to “Sweatin’ Land”.
How to Enter!
You can enter in on this shit by commenting on this blog post or Tweeting this shit out to your Twitter sheep. You can do the Twitter thing every day in case you run out of things to Twitter at people to get new entries!
(Or something. I have no idea how this Rafflecopter thing works. I’m pretty sure it’s just honor system, so. . .you can probably just lie on it.)
This giveaway is not endorsed by Richard Simmons (although your personal health sure is!). Is it not endorsed by his robot manufacturers either. It is not endorsed by anyone who made or manufactured the video. It is not sponsored by brightly colored 90’s pants or 70’s short shorts.
Rammfan518 is not responsible for lost or stolen or damaged or smelling-like-spilled-beer prizes.
So yeah, fucking join that shit!
Here is my call to action where I tell you to read more stuff and buy something I made. Don’t worry, they are SFW, but can you handle their supreme awesomeness?